Found this on the walk home. Pressed flat into the asphalt, screen side up. Cracked. Keypad still there. We are calling it an artefact of a dead civilisation and we are pretty sure it is a REAL intergalactic nokia.

The Regional Creature Dept did a carbon date with a spoon and a vibe. Result: around 2003, which is definately when the agency opened. Coincidence? The Dept declined to comment.

Now, about the missed connections. Every second post from Fine Dining For Freaks says the same thing: we did not swap galactic nokia numbers. We think we know why. Somebody dropped this on the way out to the foo fighter carpark and a whole road grew over it before anyone could text back.

IF YOURS: describe the ringtone. Tell us your Snake high score (we already know. it's a moth). Then come and hold it up at the sky with the tentacle in the carpark, and see if you get one bar.

Please do not try to dig it up. It belongs to the road now.